The Power of Prioritizing your F*cks
In case you missed it in my very honest ‘About Me’, I shamelessly announced that I turned forty this year. Right on schedule, I seemed to slip rather comfortably into a new version of myself I hadn’t met before. This brand-new version makes me feel like Superwoman. I call this my ‘give-less-f*cks-live-shame-free’ era. And it feels like home.
With all the strength of my Superwoman vibes, I decided to make three big changes this year.
Prioritizing My Health
I care a lot about being a youthful, healthy mom—and, if I’m lucky, a youthful, healthy grandmother someday. But at the start of this year, I wasn’t prioritizing my health. As a busy mom of four, working a demanding full-time job, with no additional childcare support or family nearby, Greg and I were just trying to keep the wheels on the bus. It was exhausting.
Waking up tired and dragging my heels through the days became my norm. Some mornings, I’d have the energy to exercise, but most of the time, the struggle was real.
So, I set a goal to run a half marathon before I turned 40. I signed up for a race in May, knowing it would force me to start training—I’d have no choice. For context, the last time I ran a half marathon, I was 24. Given my past injuries, including a torn ACL, a meniscus tear, and a bum ankle, I was nervous about doing it again. But I signed up anyways.
When race day arrived, the whole family woke up at 5 a.m. to drive to Toronto, and cheered me on in the pouring rain holding their soggy, homemade bristol board signs. Their support meant everything. When I crossed the finish line, I clocked in a full 10 minutes faster than 15 years prior, placing 33rd out of over 300 women in my age group. I felt overwhelmed with pride.
We all inherently know that if we don’t have our health, we don’t have anything. I’ve made myself a promise that daily activity is a non-negotiable. We’ve invested in building a small home gym with weights, mats, and a bench. I prioritize running and walking regularly and am already excited for next year’s race. It’s not just about crossing a finish line. It’s about making sure I’m the mom who can keep up with her kids now and the grandma who can steal the show on the dance floor later. Priorities, right?
Leaving Corporate Life
After 24 years in the corporate world, I left my job this past summer to start pursuing something bigger and more meaningful (hello, Vienna Waits!). Although no one said it to my face, I’m sure some people thought I was completely off my rocker. It wouldn’t be the first time people thought that about a bold decision I’d made.
I was working at one of the fastest growing tech companies in Canada that is on the verge of an IPO. I was very highly respected in my Enterprise sales role and ranked among the top performing sales reps in the company. I also had a massive 2024 lined up, with a pipeline of large deals that would have easily put me over quota by year’s end. Cha-ching! But as appealing as that sounded, I couldn’t ignore the looming milestone of my 40th birthday. While there were things I liked about my job—especially the people—it was still just that: a job. Not my work. Not my passion. Not something that inspired me. I was drained and it started to feel unfair to my colleagues, the company and myself to continue selling something I just no longer cared deeply about.
Greg could see it, too. My mood would shift every Sunday night before the week started. By Friday morning, I’d usually be climbing out of my darkened mood back into a happier state, excited about the weekend ahead. It was a cycle I felt stuck in.
So, maybe I was off my rocker, but I resigned anyway and left on top! I closed one of the company’s largest deals with just 60 minutes to spare before IT shut down my access, and haven’t looked back. No regrets. That’s kinda my thing; I just don’t live with regrets. Now I feel alive and more energized than ever. I literally jump out of bed every morning, excited to dive into my meaningful work. Even on Mondays.
Being Thoughtful About Relationships
Let’s call it like it is: some people we spend time with are energy-givers, while others are energy-drainers. Some people leave you feeling inspired, loved, and alive, while others—even unintentionally—leave you feeling depleted. This was a dynamic I became hyper aware of this year. I noticed that with certain people, I’d spiral into overthinking before get-togethers, stressing about things like what I was wearing or what conversation might be about before I even got there. Maybe it was all in my head, but I couldn’t ignore how it made me feel. With others, that stress was nonexistent and I never gave a second thought to my outfit or how I was showing up.
I also started paying closer attention to the types conversations we’d have. With energy-draining hangouts, the focus was often on surface-level topics like sports, trends, or gossip about other people’s lives. But with energy-giving relationships, we’d dive into real conversations about life, love, challenges, and topics that were deeply meaningful. I never worried about my outfit or how I was showing up with them because these are my people.
Time and energy are finite. As I look ahead to the next 40 years (if I’m lucky enough to have them), I’m choosing to prioritize the relationships that truly matter—those that fill my cup instead of draining it.
A Domino Effect
Making one intentional change led to another, and then another. This year, I chose to prioritize my health, find work that is meaningful, and nurture special relationships. I’ve never felt better and my Superwoman vibes are on point. It’s not about caring less; it’s about being more intentional.
As Mark Manson says, "The key to a good life is not giving a f*ck about more; it’s giving a f*ck about less, giving a f*ck about only what is true and immediate and important."
So, what are you giving too many f*cks about that’s draining your energy? And what could you give more f*cks about to live more intentionally?
40 years flies by. If you do nothing else, be intentional about how you spend your time.
