A Lot Can Change in a Year: Lessons from 40 to 41

For context, I hate microphones. But look at me go!

Last year, I wrote a blog about turning forty. I called it my “give-less-fucks, live-shame-free” era, and I'm still very much in it. That blog was about courage. About deciding to leave corporate life and start living with intention.

I just turned forty-one last weekend and am sitting on the other side of one of the best and WILDEST years of my life.

Here’s some things I learned between forty and forty-one.

1. You Can Do Hard Things (Even When You Don’t Know How Yet)

This past year, we built our website from scratch. Launched a podcast and released 14 episodes. Started a bi-weekly newsletter called The Vienna Five and didn’t miss a single one. Built a virtual program from the ground up and ran three cohorts. Signed our first corporate client. Hosted our first retreat. And we just closed the financial books on our first official year as a real business. OMG.

I’m not listing this to brag (although, seeing it written out, it’s hard not to feel SO DAMN proud). I’m sharing it because a year ago, literally none of this existed. Not one thing. We just started. We figured it out as we went. We put in the time, and we did the hard-ass work.

There were plenty of days when I said out loud, “Maybe I should just find a real job.” It made Greg crazy. But deep down, I knew I didn't want that. I always knew we had to keep going.

This year reminded me that we’re all capable of SO much more than we think. If I could do all the hard things I did this year, YOU can do the hard things too. We all can.

2. Love Without Keeping Score

This year, my mom and I seemed to have turned a corner and are becoming closer than we've been in years.

I realized I was unintentionally keeping a quiet list in my head of things that were said (or not said), expectations that went unmet, and disappointments I never voiced. I was keeping score in a game with no scoreboard.

Somewhere along the way this year, I started letting that list go. I began to see my mom in a different light. I realized our parents are just people doing their best with what they have and what they know. Mel Robbins says, “Be nice to your parents. It’s their first time living life too.”

The more I softened, the more our relationship healed. It’s stronger now. Lighter. Easier.

This also ties back to gratitude, something we’ve talked a lot about lately. Love grows when you stop counting the things that frustrate you and start noticing what you’re thankful for. Love without keeping score. What a concept! Drop the scorecard. Stop waiting for an apology that may never come. And remember that we’re all just doing the best we can with what we have.

3. Haters gonna hate

Some people just won’t get it. And that’s okay.

When you stop playing by the “safe” rules and step outside the conventional box of life to build something of your own, people are gonna have opinions. Some will cheer you on, and others will quietly (or not so quietly) wonder what the hell you’re doing. They may think you hit some sort of midlife crisis.

We talked about this on a recent UNBLOCK Yourself podcast episode with Sam Yarborough, who’s also a former corporate world hustler turned entrepreneur. At one point, Sam said:

“Probably three times a day, people will call or text me and be like, so when are you gonna get a job?”

She also shared how some stay-at-home mom friends in her neighbourhood call to hang out at like 2 p.m. on a weekday because she “doesn’t have a job.” To which she’s like, “Yes I do! I just made my own job.” It’s such a hard thing for some people to wrap their heads around.

I could relate to Sam on so many levels. I shared how we ran into a friend of ours who said, “So how’s that little project you guys are working on going?”

That little project? Riiight. The “little project” we’re pouring our entire hearts and souls into every waking hour? That one. It’s going great, thanks for asking. 🙄

It’s easy to let those comments sting or make you question yourself. But not everyone will see your vision and they don’t have to. Some people need structure and titles to make sense of your work.

Stay focused on your bigger picture. Keep your head down. Keep building. Keep trusting yourself.

People might not understand what you’re creating until they see it in full colour. And by then, you’ll be too busy living it to care. ✌️

4. Get Honest With Yourself

Last but not least, and this is a tough one to admit publically, one of my biggest inner battles this year was with alcohol.

It’s woven so tightly into our culture that questioning it, even slightly, can feel like you're swimming against the current. This past year, I’ve gone through long stretches of full sobriety. I’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, and finally started paying close attention to my body.

I’m not saying full sobriety is for me. Maybe one day it will be. I actually don’t know yet. And honestly I’m not sure I want to put that kind of restriction on myself. I’ve never done well with hard-and-fast rules in life. 🙃 But I do know that after this year, I’m far more aware of my mind and body, and what helps me feel grounded, calm, and clear to accomplish the things I want in life. And that's a great feeling.

This year, I slowed down long enough to actually listen to myself. The more tuned in I am to my body, my energy, and my choices, the clearer I become about who I want to be and how I want to show up in the world.

You likely already know what’s working for and what's working against you when it comes to your overall health and wellness. Stop pretending you don’t. Slow down. Pay attention to what your body is telling you and get brutally honest with yourself.

This year, I had to dig deep to trust myself. To trust that the leap I took would be worth it. To trust that all the hard work, all the uncertainty, and showing up day in and day out would eventually lead somewhere. To trust that even on the days I wanted to quit, I was still exactly where I needed to be.

It’s incredible what can happen in a year. 365 days. One trip around the sun. A lot can change in one short year if you decide to show up for it and stop living the same one over and over again like Groundhog Day.

Last year, on the morning I turned 40, I listened to a meditation on Spotify with a mantra that I’ve come back to over and over throughout this past year:

“Today is a beautiful day of opportunity. I am exactly where I need to be. I open myself to the universe and trust in the unfolding of my life.”

Pure. Gold.

So yea… a lot can change in a year. Trust yourself enough to find out how much.