How Everyday Challenges Help Us Grow

A few weeks ago, we wrote about the idea of Post Traumatic Growth, but I've recognized that there's a problem with the term "Post Traumatic Growth" (PTG).

"Trauma" is a loaded word, and we're all reluctant to either embrace the idea that we've been through trauma ourselves or, if we have, to look back on it and try to find the good in it.

So I did some more digging.

The technical definition of "Post Traumatic Growth" is: the positive psychological change that can occur as a result of struggling with a traumatic event or a challenging life situation.

"Challenging life situation," eh? I like that better. Let's stick with it for a moment.

While many of us might be reluctant to reflect fondly on an experience we'd label as "trauma," enduring "challenging life situations" is much more relatable.

We all face challenges every day. This allows for a powerful re-frame of this idea of PTG.

Big or small, when life presents us with challenges, we have to grow or rise to the occasion to get through them. Unfortunately, growth gets lost as we settle back into our routines.

There is extensive research that shows how beneficial the growth can be. There are 5 Domains of PTG, and there is a link between PTG and higher levels of psychological resilience, just to name two.

What's less clear, however, is practical guidance on how to recognize growth that's happened so we can apply it to our lives.

Here's a simple exercise that has worked for us and follows a framework we're using in a few areas of our work.

1. PAUSE – Find 5 to 10 minutes and hit pause to reflect on a challenge you faced in the past and how you responded to it.

2. PRIORITIZE – Identify 1 to 3 actions you took that helped you navigate this challenge. Consider how you could prioritize these actions as part of your day-to-day life.

3. PURSUE – Once you've faced a challenge and grown from it, it’s about pursuing a different path because of what you've discovered. Growth comes from action.

I experienced pretty extreme anxiety in my mid-twenties. After a series of successes at work, I took on that identity of being "successful," and it began to define me. When my results started to dip (as they do), I didn't have the tools to handle that and spiralled out.

After a period when I struggled to eat and sleep properly, I hit a wall and needed to get some support. Only in reflecting back on this experience was I able to see how I grew from it, and I could then incorporate tools I developed during that time into my regular routine.

Here's how it looked for me:

1. PAUSE: I was 25 or 26, feeling deeply anxious and struggling to get a good night's sleep, and began to lose my appetite. I became obsessive about work, and in spite of putting more effort in, my results continued to get worse. I hit rock bottom and needed some help.

2. PRIORITIZE:

   • I got support from therapy, which helped me address what was behind the anxiety.

   • I used tools to address anxiety when it hit, like journaling and exercise.

   • Again, based on advice, I looked for places in my life where I could break patterns and get a win.

     • Aside: this turned out to be selling cheese at our local farmer's market. Why cheese? Well, that's a longer story for another time.

3. PURSUE: All three of these things helped me navigate a challenge, and I found them useful. I intentionally carved out space to maintain each of these things in my life (although I'm no longer selling cheese).

I emerged on the other side of that challenge with a new set of tools, with growth in at least two of those five dimensions of PTG, and had become more resilient.

But here's the key: although I'd grown from navigating through this challenge, I didn't really recognize how I'd done it until I reflected on it.

Would I have continued to grow if I'd stopped using the tools I developed during the experience? It's impossible to know, but I think it's highly unlikely.

Every one of us faces challenges, big and small, every day, and whether we realize it or not, there is growth that comes from these experiences.

If you can, we'd encourage you to find five minutes and give this exercise a try.

We're all more powerful than we think.

We've grown through challenges before, likely without even noticing.

Imagine what’s possible by becoming more intentional about how you did it before.

“I am better off healed than I ever was unbroken.”

— Beth Moore