Why Being Authentic Is Hard (But Totally Worth It).
A quick note from Whitney and Greg: Writing about authenticity in an authentic way is NOT easy! This has been the hardest post to write so far, but we hope you love it and find it useful.
We LOVE discovering cool coffee shops, restaurants, and workspaces that feel truly authentic. They’re one of a kind. Handcrafted. Unpolished in the best way.
Authentic.
That love for authenticity has shaped our own journey. We want to be authentic people. But just like those unique spaces, authenticity isn’t always easy to find—especially in a world that prioritizes fitting in.
Why Is Authenticity So Rare?
We’re wired for authenticity. Humans evolved to value trust and genuine connections. We can sense when something (or someone) isn’t real, and that instinct has helped us survive.
But we’re also wired for survival in another way: we crave belonging. Charles Darwin observed that species thrive through cooperation, and we’ve carried that forward. Throughout history, aligning with the group often meant security—being safe, warm, and fed. So when a situation arises where we must choose between being authentic or being accepted, the pull to fit in usually wins.
As societies have grown larger and more complex, conformity has become the default, while authenticity feels like the exception. That’s why we find ourselves searching for those rare, authentic places, people, and experiences.
The Magic of Authenticity + Service
When authenticity overlaps with serving others, something incredible happens. It creates a certain magnetism. People are drawn to what’s real. Word spreads. Opportunities open.
Think about a small business that does things differently—a coffee shop that handcrafts everything, a local artist who puts their heart into their work, or even a person whose honesty and passion make them stand out. That energy is contagious.
We’ve seen it in our own lives, too.
How Authenticity Opened Doors for Us
For Greg, authenticity showed up in an unexpected way—selling cheese at a farmer’s market while working in software sales. Every Saturday morning, after a week of high-pressure meetings and jet-setting, he’d throw on an apron and head to the market at 5 AM. What started as a simple side gig turned into something bigger. Customers kept coming back. Cheese-makers took notice, inviting him to learn the craft and attend special events. (More on that story another time!)
For Whitney, authenticity has been at the heart of Vienna Waits. Being transparent about her story has created space for others to do the same. It has helped people unlock their potential, leading to unexpected opportunities like being invited to guest-facilitate and join a network of female entrepreneurs in our community.
Authenticity isn’t just about self-expression. It’s a magnet for opportunity. When you show up as your real self (especially in a way that benefits others) doors open that you never knew existed.
How Do We Become More Authentic?
For some, authenticity comes naturally. For others (hi, that’s us!), breaking free from old habits of conforming takes effort. The first step is to get clear on your values.
We each defined our values independently, then together as we built Vienna Waits. No surprise—authenticity made the list.
If you’re interested in defining or validating your own values, try this quick exercise (thank you, Brené Brown!):
Look at this list of words.
Choose 5–10 that resonate.
Narrow it down to your top 2–3.
Once you know your values, they become your foundation. They help you show up fully as YOU—in work, in relationships, in life.
Authenticity Evolves—And That’s Okay
Here’s something important to remember: authenticity isn’t static. It evolves. In a recent podcast we listened to, Lady Gaga said authenticity is subjective and changes over time. Don’t get caught up in being consistent. Just focus on being real.
For Lady Gaga, her best work was her most authentic work. And if you’re going to do your best work, it has to be real. It has to be you.
We’re working on it every single day. You can too. And the world will be better for it.
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”