Life Expands With Courage
I got to host a podcast conversation with one of my top 10 favourite musical artists, Bobby Alu. If you’d told me six months ago that I’d be doing that, I wouldn’t have believed you. But yep… it happened.
During our conversation, he dropped a quote that’s been playing in my head ever since:
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." – Anaïs Nin
And then he dropped a soundbite of his own that was too perfect not to highlight:
"All the good stuff is just so scary." – Bobby Alu
Back in December, I wrote a post about courage. In it, I shared how every time I’ve been courageous in my life, I’ve gotten to the other side and something great has come from it.
When I wrote that, we were just about to launch Vienna Waits, but hadn’t fully taken the leap just yet. Upon reading it again, I realized that post was actually me trying to convince myself more than it was for anyone else (sorry about that). I just didn’t see it at the time.
A little over six months later, I can report that the same thing has happened once again. I faced a scary thing, summoned the courage to do it, and find myself in awe of all that has come from it, including that podcast conversation with Bobby Alu.
We’ve accomplished a lot between the podcast, our program, and our upcoming retreat, but what’s been truly remarkable is seeing what the people we’ve been working with have achieved. Here are just a few examples:
TWO people have launched businesses. One in speaking and another in coaching. They started with a vision in January, and they’re now sending out invoices to paying customers.
THREE people have launched or grown community initiatives that are helping people recognize their true beauty and act with more kindness in the world.
FOUR people have secured new jobs or career paths, changing industry, geography, and trajectory to align their work with personal values.
Beyond this, there have been stories of healed relationships, personal health achievements, and for some, the work continues to reach the milestones they’re after. But they’re in ACTION.
And it gets even better. People around us (friends, family, and others who have been following our journey) have reached out and started sharing their own stories of facing a challenge or fear and leaning into it.
As of writing this, I have three people in my life who are saying ‘no’ to convention, and in spite of the challenges they may face in navigating it, they're leaning into whatever fears might have held them back in the past and are making it happen. I have little doubt that six months from now, each one of them will look back at what appeared to be a challenging or scary situation and see it as something that opened the door for them.
As our courage expands, our lives do too, and as Bobby Alu says... the good stuff is all just so damn scary.
Life has expanded dramatically in proportion to my courage expanding. That doesn't mean it's been easy, and it doesn't mean that I've got it all figured out and made it to the 'other side'.
I, and we, certainly have not. I'm ‘in the shit,’ so to speak, right now, building, hustling, grinding…putting all the pieces together in these early days of Vienna Waits.
But as the fear falls away, great things continue to happen that keep pulling me forward, suggesting to me that I’m on the right track and to just trust the process and keep going.
Before we began this journey, the biggest fear I held about becoming an entrepreneur was that if what I built didn’t succeed, people I respected would see me as a failure.
Let me say that again: I wasn’t afraid of failing at running a business. I was afraid that other people would see me as a failure. I was afraid of losing the image of being someone that other people thought of as ‘successful.’
Instead of living my life for what I wanted it to be, I was living it in fear of what others might think of me. Ouch.
I wish that I’d recognized what that fear was sooner so that I could have addressed it and started on this journey earlier.
Realizing what was holding me back took 20 years to uncover, but once I did the work, it unblocked me from stepping into a more authentic version of myself. I wanted to share an approach I used, just in case there’s something you might be thinking about doing and have been afraid to do or begin.
As with any list that I love (chef’s kiss), this is a process you can do in three steps, on a pad of paper, in a notebook, or on your phone or computer or whatever you use to keep notes.
Name the thing (big or small) that you'd like to do: a physical challenge, life change, or career move.
Close your eyes and think about that thing you want to do and identify what fear or feeling is holding you back from doing it. Move past the surface-level reasons like time and money (which are real barriers!) and identify 3–5 FEELINGS in your gut that are holding you back from getting started. Write them down and set the list aside.
One to two days later, come back to the list and read it again. Now, imagine yourself reading this list to your best friend and what their response might be. If you’re game for it, this works even better if you actually read your fear list out loud to your best friend, but I can appreciate that might feel… well… scary.
Those fears that have been holding you back are legitimate. Mine held me back for 20 years. But when looking at them through this lens, they might just be ridiculous, and a good friend will likely tell you that too.
None of this will remove your fear completely. Having done this, I can't lie and say I no longer care what people think of me. But I can say that I’ve put that fear into perspective and care a lot less. And through these past six months, I’ve found a whole crew of new people who have joined my world and who feed the energy and conviction I have for this journey we’re now on.
Being courageous doesn’t mean quitting your job, leaving a relationship, or moving to the other side of the world (although maybe it does for you!). I’ve learned that being courageous means imagining a version of my life that I would be excited about living, evaluating all of the fears that might prevent me from doing it, and then choosing to do it anyway.
Is there something that you’d like to do, start, or try that you haven’t done yet?
If so I bet life will get bigger and better once you get started. Because…one last time…
“All the good stuff is just so scary.”